Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
