You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
