if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
