i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
