the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
