So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
