I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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