Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
