We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize