You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
