sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
