nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
