That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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