i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
