I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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