no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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