put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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