Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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