You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
