soooo we both peed the bed last night...
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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