What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
