Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
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