Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I have post one night stand depression
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
