just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
