wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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