You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
