i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
soo... how was my night?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
