Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
