im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
