She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize