He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
