i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Your cock deserves a montage
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
