i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
