i just google imaged poop.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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