some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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