That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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