i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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