She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
