She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Randomize
