Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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