okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
