thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize