There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
