dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize