I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
