I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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