I must be too annoying 4 u.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
