omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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