Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
