Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
