oh god the rape fog is back!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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