I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Randomize
