What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
