It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
