Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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