I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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