Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
