I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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