the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Randomize
