Yo dont text me then not text me
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
