how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
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